John Ludi's Out of Body Experience

(UPDATE: 07-11-05 - This little mini essay seems to have attracted a fair amount of readers of late, so I thought I'd clarify a few things.  This was written about 8 years ago or so...several of my attitudes have evolved since then, especially my attitude towards death.  I no longer fear it...not a bit.  Looking forward to the adventure of it, actually.  I have done so much research over the time since I wrote this that I have arrived at the conclusion that death is a non-issue.  Death is merely a frequency adjustment...and an extremely pleasant one for most of us.  I'm really looking forward to not having to pay bills, stand in line, be stuck in traffic, and spend at least one day a week in hell due to allergies.  And flossing...I'm so sick of flossing...

Now, what I do have a problem with are loose ends.  I'd really hate to abandon my physical form while in the middle of a tour or recording project...THAT would be really irritating.  I'd like a couple weeks notice at least, kind of like the situation Warren Zevon was recently in.  He got to finish his last album...what a nice way to go out.  Obviously considering the vastness of all the infinite universes that exist (both "physical" and non-physical) this is beyond trivial, but I'm really anal about leaving things half done.  So while I have eliminated the fear of my own mortality and now frame my thoughts in a way that accommodates a greatly expanded sense of time and space, I'm still neurotic. 

It's a start though...)

John Ludi's Out of Body Experience

When I was in my late teens (and had a lot more time on my hands) I spent about a half hour a day practicing some deep relaxation techniques that I cobbled together from various sources. They were basically a kind of generic tool to reach that mind active/body dormant state that is alleged to aid in astral projection. I was doing this not only for the soothing effect it had on my overall state of adolescent angst, but to purposely achieve an OOBE. I was (and still am to a degree) profoundly terrified of death and the possibility of the cessation of my ALL IMPORTANT EGO. I felt that an OOBE would be proof that my consciousness could exist independently of my body and thus would be evidence that I did indeed have something resembling a "soul" that would survive the extinction of my physical body. My intention was to have a projection from a state of waking consciousness as opposed to something that could be mistaken for a lucid dream.

I was unsuccessful in having a conscious OOBE, but I did have what I think may have been one while sleeping that seems to fit some of the basic patterns.

I lived for a while in the basement of a townhouse. The bathroom was on the third floor, so if I needed to use it I would have to climb two flights of stairs. About 4:00 A.M. one evening I woke up needing to use said facilities. I walked up the first flight of stairs, through the kitchen, the living room, and up the second flight of stairs. About midway up the second flight of stairs I stopped as I felt that something was not quite right about the apartment. The first thing I noticed was that I could see around the apartment quite well, but that I had not turned on any of the lights. This was a bit odd as the living room was usually pitch black at night. The second thing that struck me was that when I looked down at my feet I noticed that I was not actually touching the carpet on the stairs, but was "levitating" about 5 inches off the floor. I should note that up until this point my state of mind was that of someone who had just woken up in the middle of the night, kind of muddy and slightly disoriented but still well defined as wakeful. I snapped to full attention when I noticed that I was not making contact with the floor. I stood there for a while while the full import of what was occurring sunk in. I then recited my name, address, social security number, phone number, and zip code, looked at my hands, turning them over, making fists, etc., to try to verify that I was awake, I was. I then proceeded up the stairs as I still felt the need to use the bathroom (which, aside from being mildly amusing, strikes me as kind of strange) looking at my feet all the while. They were moving up and down in a fair duplication of climbing stairs but I was more or less floating up the stairs. I reached the bathroom and thought "you idiot, you can't use the bathroom!". So, rather than attempt an etheric piss I floated/walked back down the stairs to the living room.

At this point in time I was fully awake, my state of mind was just as clear as it is as I write this and the sensation of walking back down the stairs was no different then when I would walk down the stairs while awake. I stood for a while in the living room, just trying to observe my state of mind and thought "Well? So? What am I supposed to do now?". I felt both jubilant and somewhat stupid. I had spent almost a year working up to this and now that I had reached my goal I had no idea what to do. I started towards the door thinking that I might as well go outside and see what things were like out there. I stopped after a couple of steps (floats?!?) and thought "I suppose I can't actually open the door like this, can I?" So I went for the window instead, walking through a waist level piece of furniture on the way. I reached my left arm through the blinds and started on my upper torso and head, leaning forward. At this point I heard what can only be described as a very aggressive voice yelling the word "No!" in the middle of my skull. I then, without any discernable break in my awareness, sat up in bed.

I was fairly pleased with myself about this event although I had a slight twinge of regret that I did not explore things further in this state. After having read about people astral projecting to far off exotic places (Venus, France, Hoboken, whatever) I felt like I might have wasted an opportunity. I have had more of a sense of spiritual continuity since that experience, so I guess it has served some purpose, if only to alleviate some of the dread I feel when contemplating my mortality. I've not had an experience like this since then. I suppose if I devoted some time to the same sort of disciplines I might be able to have some more occurrences of this nature, but I'm too distracted by worldly trivia.

I should also say that I am neither a fanatical believer or a skeptic in regards to paranormal matters. I am fascinated by such things but I try to stay grounded in the notion that people's subjective perceptions of what is out there may not have anything remotely to do with what really is out there...if there is anything out there at all.

Well, there it is...big thrill eh?